A Warning: New Orleans, 2055
03/28/08 02:29 PM
With the
Democratic candidates bloodying one another, and
each sides' partisans threatening not to vote for
the other side should he/she win, it's worth taking
a look at what a Republican sweep might bode for
the future of one American city.
“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the official tour of historic New Orleans. This exact replica of an old-style trolley-car will begin its route through the famed, and infamous, French Quarter very soon. But first, some facts about this grand old Southern city. Can anyone tell me anything about the history of this city?”
“They held the Mardi Gras here.”
“Correct, and there is a still a Mardi Gras remembrance celebration right here on George W. Bush Boulevard—formerly called Bourbon Street--every year. Anything else.”
“Wasn’t there a controversy over renaming the street?”
“No controversy, really. Under President Jeb Bush, the State Church proclaimed in 2019 that street names celebrating decadence were not appropriate to one of our most historic places.”
“It was port where black slaves were sold to white people.”
“Now, young man, as you know, the 2028 Proclamation of Colorblindness signed by President Jenna Bush makes clear that slaves came in all colors, and that slavery means many things. A slave to the land is the same as a slave in chains. One more. Anything else?”
“The city was washed away in a flood early this century.”
“Correct. And the Father of New Orleans saved the citizens from great hardships during the flood. You’ll see a grand statue of Father George W. Bush on the tour, which stands as an eternal testament to his great leadership during that crisis.”
“Didn’t a lot of black people once live in this city?”
“Young man, we don’t separate people by color anymore. It is, in fact, against the law.”
“Right, but wasn’t there a major upheaval after the flood that led to the precursors of the Proclamation of Colorblindness?”
“(Sigh) It is well-documented historical fact that in the mid-late 20th century, the communists instigated what was Orwellianly called the ‘Civil Rights Movement’ to drive a wedge between different types of citizens by convincing some of the most gullible that they had been treated unfairly. We all know that America is founded on “justice for all,” so unfair treatment of any group is impossible. Impossible. After Great Leader Ronald Reagan defeated the communists, it was only a matter of time before the last vestiges of the unequal rights cabal was also defeated. But they had one last hurrah after the great Hurricane Katrina, culminating in an attempt to inject the toxic topic of race, which we have now transcended, into the 2008 presidential election by nominating a self-described “black man” for President! Imagine! For crushing that cabal, the people showed their appreciation by making the Republicans the Official Party of the United States.
“Now, let’s begin the tour…”
“I’m sorry, I have one more question.”
“I’m afraid we have a schedule to keep. The French Quarter is one of the oldest parts of this city, and the one area that was completely recreated after the great flood. Look. On the right you’ll see the old-fashioned minstrel character that’s brought joy and laughter to millions since the founding of our country.
“Look. The minstrel has his hand to his ear. What’s he trying to tell us?
“Wait… listen… can you hear that? It’s the sound of music they called Jazz. Though rarely heard today, it’s one of the musical forms, along with Blues, that has faded from American life.”
“But didn’t that happen after they consolidated the media into the one single company?”
“Sir, please don’t interrupt. As we turn the corner, we’ll see a recreation of some of the areas that were not rebuilt after the floods. On the right, you’ll see one of the charming, long, narrow ‘shotgun houses.’ It was jokingly said that the name occurred because you could shoot a gun through the front door and hit everyone in the house. Ha ha ha. However, the residents loved the old world charm of the dwellings and foolishly chose to rent them instead of owning their own homes on higher ground. Thus, many were flooded out and lost everything.
“Weren’t they poor?”
“Sir, as it says as the mother of the Bush Dynasty has said, ‘poverty is a lifestyle choice.’"
“Weren’t most of them black?”
“SECURITY!”
“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the official tour of historic New Orleans. This exact replica of an old-style trolley-car will begin its route through the famed, and infamous, French Quarter very soon. But first, some facts about this grand old Southern city. Can anyone tell me anything about the history of this city?”
“They held the Mardi Gras here.”
“Correct, and there is a still a Mardi Gras remembrance celebration right here on George W. Bush Boulevard—formerly called Bourbon Street--every year. Anything else.”
“Wasn’t there a controversy over renaming the street?”
“No controversy, really. Under President Jeb Bush, the State Church proclaimed in 2019 that street names celebrating decadence were not appropriate to one of our most historic places.”
“It was port where black slaves were sold to white people.”
“Now, young man, as you know, the 2028 Proclamation of Colorblindness signed by President Jenna Bush makes clear that slaves came in all colors, and that slavery means many things. A slave to the land is the same as a slave in chains. One more. Anything else?”
“The city was washed away in a flood early this century.”
“Correct. And the Father of New Orleans saved the citizens from great hardships during the flood. You’ll see a grand statue of Father George W. Bush on the tour, which stands as an eternal testament to his great leadership during that crisis.”
“Didn’t a lot of black people once live in this city?”
“Young man, we don’t separate people by color anymore. It is, in fact, against the law.”
“Right, but wasn’t there a major upheaval after the flood that led to the precursors of the Proclamation of Colorblindness?”
“(Sigh) It is well-documented historical fact that in the mid-late 20th century, the communists instigated what was Orwellianly called the ‘Civil Rights Movement’ to drive a wedge between different types of citizens by convincing some of the most gullible that they had been treated unfairly. We all know that America is founded on “justice for all,” so unfair treatment of any group is impossible. Impossible. After Great Leader Ronald Reagan defeated the communists, it was only a matter of time before the last vestiges of the unequal rights cabal was also defeated. But they had one last hurrah after the great Hurricane Katrina, culminating in an attempt to inject the toxic topic of race, which we have now transcended, into the 2008 presidential election by nominating a self-described “black man” for President! Imagine! For crushing that cabal, the people showed their appreciation by making the Republicans the Official Party of the United States.
“Now, let’s begin the tour…”
“I’m sorry, I have one more question.”
“I’m afraid we have a schedule to keep. The French Quarter is one of the oldest parts of this city, and the one area that was completely recreated after the great flood. Look. On the right you’ll see the old-fashioned minstrel character that’s brought joy and laughter to millions since the founding of our country.
“Look. The minstrel has his hand to his ear. What’s he trying to tell us?
“Wait… listen… can you hear that? It’s the sound of music they called Jazz. Though rarely heard today, it’s one of the musical forms, along with Blues, that has faded from American life.”
“But didn’t that happen after they consolidated the media into the one single company?”
“Sir, please don’t interrupt. As we turn the corner, we’ll see a recreation of some of the areas that were not rebuilt after the floods. On the right, you’ll see one of the charming, long, narrow ‘shotgun houses.’ It was jokingly said that the name occurred because you could shoot a gun through the front door and hit everyone in the house. Ha ha ha. However, the residents loved the old world charm of the dwellings and foolishly chose to rent them instead of owning their own homes on higher ground. Thus, many were flooded out and lost everything.
“Weren’t they poor?”
“Sir, as it says as the mother of the Bush Dynasty has said, ‘poverty is a lifestyle choice.’"
“Weren’t most of them black?”
“SECURITY!”
Where is John Edwards When You Need Him?
03/24/08 01:43 PM
I don't think he'd
suggesting that the old economic wolf,
Alan Greenspan be put back in
charge of the financial
henhouse, or remain studiedly
silent on the current financial
goings-on. At this point, a do-over might put
Edwards in the drivers' seat. I think folks
might be getting sick of the both Clinton and
Obama.
Obama's Aura Recast in Basic Black
03/20/08 09:08 PM
The following
essay was posted on Pop and
Politics.
An excerpt is attached. Read
the full piece
here.
Obama bet his fantastically successful candidacy on his ability to remain unmoored from what makes us so uncomfortable—America’s racial history, and more specifically, America’s relationship to its descendants of African slaves. As of his March 19th speech on race relations, that freely floating candidacy has been securely anchored right where he did not want it to be.
Obama told CNN’s Anderson Cooper, “In some ways, this controversy has actually shaken me up a little bit and gotten me back into remembering that the odds of me getting elected have always been lower than that some of the other conventional candidates."
Reminded him? Please. If he ever forgot, he certainly hasn’t the smarts to lead this country out of its current morass—and he has. He did not forget. He wanted us to forget… when it was convenient for his campaign. When he could gin up black support by accusing Clinton surrogates of racism, he remembered. Let’s face it, the man has done a brilliant job of playing both ends against the middle. However, the jig is up. With the Jeremiah Wright controversy and the ensuing speech (which was far less an act of political bravery than political necessity, intelligently and elegantly handled), he’s acknowledged his ties to Afro-American culture and the distasteful light it shines on American history. He has attached himself to everything he once told America he would let them forget (Pardon me… transcend). We will not look at him the same way again.
Read more
Obama bet his fantastically successful candidacy on his ability to remain unmoored from what makes us so uncomfortable—America’s racial history, and more specifically, America’s relationship to its descendants of African slaves. As of his March 19th speech on race relations, that freely floating candidacy has been securely anchored right where he did not want it to be.
Obama told CNN’s Anderson Cooper, “In some ways, this controversy has actually shaken me up a little bit and gotten me back into remembering that the odds of me getting elected have always been lower than that some of the other conventional candidates."
Reminded him? Please. If he ever forgot, he certainly hasn’t the smarts to lead this country out of its current morass—and he has. He did not forget. He wanted us to forget… when it was convenient for his campaign. When he could gin up black support by accusing Clinton surrogates of racism, he remembered. Let’s face it, the man has done a brilliant job of playing both ends against the middle. However, the jig is up. With the Jeremiah Wright controversy and the ensuing speech (which was far less an act of political bravery than political necessity, intelligently and elegantly handled), he’s acknowledged his ties to Afro-American culture and the distasteful light it shines on American history. He has attached himself to everything he once told America he would let them forget (Pardon me… transcend). We will not look at him the same way again.
Read more
The "Goddam" in "America"
03/19/08 12:20 PM
The following
essay was posted on Pop and Politics
on March 3, 2008.
An excerpt is attached. Read the full piece
here.
Yes you lied to me all these years
You told me to wash and clean my ears
And talk real fine just like a lady
And you'd stop calling me Sister Sadie
Oh but this whole country is full of lies
You're all gonna die and die like flies…
I don't trust you any more…
Alabama's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam
--Nina Simone, “Mississippi Goddam”
A few weeks ago, Barack Obama had “transcended race.” A few weeks ago, conservative pundits were licking his fundament (whether in earnest or simply to boost the chances of the presumably beatable Democrat one will never know). A few weeks ago, any mention of anything that even suggested that Barack Obama was black got blasted by his camp and his supporters as inherently racist.
But Barack Obama adopted Afro-American culture (that of the American descendants of African slaves) a long time ago. His church and its preacher are very much in the Afro-American cultural tradition. So is his wife. To those of us old enough to have seen our father’s live in fear of being brutally reminded of the weakness of their middle class purchase, the word “Goddamn” slips easily from the lips. The word “America” might even be next to it.
Read the rest
Yes you lied to me all these years
You told me to wash and clean my ears
And talk real fine just like a lady
And you'd stop calling me Sister Sadie
Oh but this whole country is full of lies
You're all gonna die and die like flies…
I don't trust you any more…
Alabama's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam
--Nina Simone, “Mississippi Goddam”
A few weeks ago, Barack Obama had “transcended race.” A few weeks ago, conservative pundits were licking his fundament (whether in earnest or simply to boost the chances of the presumably beatable Democrat one will never know). A few weeks ago, any mention of anything that even suggested that Barack Obama was black got blasted by his camp and his supporters as inherently racist.
But Barack Obama adopted Afro-American culture (that of the American descendants of African slaves) a long time ago. His church and its preacher are very much in the Afro-American cultural tradition. So is his wife. To those of us old enough to have seen our father’s live in fear of being brutally reminded of the weakness of their middle class purchase, the word “Goddamn” slips easily from the lips. The word “America” might even be next to it.
Read the rest
Hosannas Spiked With Contempt
03/03/08 11:11 AM
The following essay was posted on Pop and Politics on March 3, 2008. An excerpt is attached. Read the full piece here.
What does it say when those who have held you in open contempt lavish sweet praise on one who vies for your allegiance and claims to speak for you? That's the question I find myself asking in regard to Barack Obama. In the Guardian, writer Gary Younge quoted Hardball host Chris Matthews saying, "I don't think you can find a better opening-gate, starting-gate personality than Obama as a black candidate. I can't think of a better one. No history of Jim Crow, no history of anger, no history of slavery. All the bad stuff in our history ain't there with this guy."
Let's review: "No history of Jim Crow. No history of anger, no history of slavery..." No history of "all the bad stuff."
According to line of thinking put forward by Matthews, for a significant number of people, the fact that Obama has a white mother, a Kenyan father and no cultural relationship to the sons and daughters of African slaves save voluntary ones makes his blackness no more than the genetic quirk of the skin. Obama lets them feel "colorblind" because his color is not attached to their shame—their historical, legally sanctioned viciousness toward black men and women. When we black Americans mention it, we’re accused of conjuring “white guilt.” Statements such as Matthews', however, suggest that we don't need to conjure it. People are so busy projecting it onto us that they obviate the need.
Andrew Sullivan, who to this day defends his endorsement of "The Bell Curve" and its theories of black genetic inferiority as a "speaking truth to power," is another Obama fan. He wrote a wet, sloppy kiss to the candidate in the Atlantic entitled, "Why Obama Matters." In it, he claims that Obama, in classic "Magic Negro" form, will heal the divisions in America, and in the world at large.
Read the rest.